Healing in Time
May 2020
Years have passed since some of the most traumatic events that have shaped my life. I believe you have heard the popular wisdom saying, “Time heals all wounds.” I believe that is a lie from the fiery pits of hell.
Time does not heal. Time is merely opportunity, a possibility. If we want healing, then we need to act in the time given.
Time does not heal wounds. The Healer heals wounds in time. Time does not heal wounds. The Healer heals but we are not given a timeline.
What are we to do with our wounds: self inflicted, friendly fire, or by our enemies? We can spend our time burying our wounds, hiding our wounds or wallowing in them. None of those options are helpful for long.
What about just moving on and ignoring our wounds? Suppression creates infection. When we do nothing with our wounds, time allows an infection to creep into the wound. The unaddressed wound is not covered but open to all kinds of nastiness. The wound will get infected, fester, and ooze all over your life. The most insidious part is that you realize it only when it is too late. You will not see the warm puss warding off friends and family. You will even wonder what is wrong with them.
Ignoring the wounds can often be the worst thing you can do. Why? Time does not heal wounds. Time only gives opportunity for more wounding, infestation, or healing. So embrace the hope we have when we allow God into our wounds. He will heal them in time. Just don’t ask me how long it will take. But it will take time. There is no fast forwarding or microwaving the process.
What are we to do?
The first act we do is just like what you do to a physical wound. You have to open your eyes and look at it. You have to dare to look at the source of the pain to see how bad it really is.
I remember my children running in, up and through many playgrounds. All my kids went full tilt. Swings swung as high until the chain would buckle. Races up the nets and ladders. Flying through the air as they leaped on the slides. Every once in a while they would come crashing down. A cry of anguish would follow. While they were really young, they couldn’t look at the pain. They would instantly turn to me.
With tears following and lips quivering, “Is it OK?”
“Hmm…” I would look at the scrap or dirt then brush off the wood chips. “You look great. Now go get ‘em!”
They would look back at me, reflect the smile I was giving them, and then off to the races they went. The older they got, the braver they became. When, not if, they would tumble, they would assess their own damage. They figured out what pain they could tolerate.
When we are hurting, we have to have the courage to look at the pain. How nasty is it? It’s alright and often necessary for in the deeper pains of life to have a person close to you to examine the wound too. But it starts with telling the truth about what hurts and figuring out why. We have to address the truth of the situation before we are able to release it to God. Sometimes we will never know the why.
The gift of time carries a responsibility. What are we doing with opportunity? What I am attempting to do in writing is looking into my pain. My hope is that you can follow. What is in your past that you need to investigate? Is there something that you feel may be keeping you from a better life?
I believe that we follow the way of God by praying or writing a lament. It begins by being honest, completely transparent about what you have lost. Can we describe what has been taken or see the darkness where our journey has taken us? Can we be truthful to ourself? Honest with God?
Psalm 44 is a lament Psalm. I encourage you to read it out loud. You will probably feel uncomfortable saying what is written. The Psalmist put the full blame of their predicament on the shoulders of God. I don’t even believe what the Psalmist is saying about him or herself, the situation or about God is true.
I think the Psalmist is supporting bad theology. I think the Psalmist does not comprehend his or her own sin. And I think the Psalmist gave us one of the most important theological gifts in writing this Psalm. We don’t have to be right when we are hurting. God embraces us and our beliefs in Him as we call out to Him.
When we are in pain, we don’t think clearly. We most often cannot discern or will not embrace the movements and purposes of God. Yet God does not strike us down when we own where we are…
Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
Why do you hide your face
and forget our misery and oppression? (23,24)
God is not asleep at the wheel. God is not afraid of your situation and crouching in the bushes. He has promised not to leave us on our own or to forget about us. Is this blasphemy in the holy Scriptures?
No, Psalm 44 teaches us to cry out to God with all our emotions, feelings and upside down theology. God does not expect us to always get it right or understand His mysterious ways. Our Father wants us to cry out to Him.
It is like God is asking, “What are you feeling? How have I disappointed you?” Do we dare tell him the truth? Do we dare not to?
Healing comes when we begin through time to look at our wounds and feel the devastation. It will take time. Some hurts are hidden even when we look deep into them. You will probably need help finding all the places the wound has touched. But with God in time He will heal all wounds.
Let Him in. Let Him see. Tell Him how you feel and what you believe. Trust that He will love you through your feelings and your beliefs. He is good. He is patient. He loves you.
