Hope Springs Eternal
Our family had the opportunity to go to different professional athletic events throughout Josiah’s journey with DIPG. Each trip was unique. Each trip was much appreciated then and now. The outings gave us a positive change of venue to our everyday struggles.
Baseball broadcasters say that “hope springs eternal” each year as their 162 game venture from Spring, through the dog days of Summer and finishing in the Fall Classic, the World Series, begins. Baseball is my favorite “sport as life” metaphor. I connect with the “grind” of the season that encompasses almost the entirety of the calendar year. The day to day struggle of Josiahs’ life reminds me of the same grind. I have highlighted many aspects of his journey in the blog, but none of my recollections can do justice to the “grind” of this season of his life.
I knew better than to embrace the saying “hope springs eternal” for Josiah as we got tickets and a terrific parking pass to watch the Nationals in April of 2016. But we were all excited to enjoy the fresh air of Spring at the ballpark. We had friends who bought tickets that joined us. I am so grateful for the people both on the “outskirts” of our journey and intimate friends who always sought to make our time a little better.
It was a beautiful sunny and cool Spring day. We settled in our seats as we were one of the first to arrive at the ballpark. Josiah never liked the attention a wheelchair brought thus I knew we needed to get there early to put him at ease.
We found a place to wheel him in and put our stuff down. I went ahead and bought food for us so that we didn’t have to worry about lines later on in the game. It was a truly beautiful day.
The game started and we gathered back to our seats. But this is baseball. You do not just sit and watch the entire game. It moves at such a pace that it is easy to walk around and take in the surroundings. So I told Josiah I would be right back as I went with his older sister to take a stroll around the grounds.
It was the beginning of the third inning when I received a text from Josiah’s mom who was sitting with him watching the game.
“Josiah just threw up all over himself.”
“He wants to go home.”
We were at the OPPOSITE end of the stadium when it happened so we took off to make our way back.
When we arrived, the mess had already been mostly cleaned off. Josiah had decided that he now did not want to leave. I looked at him and he just stared back at me.
Josiah, at this time, had little to no control of his facial muscles. He would talk through a closed mouth. He could neither smile nor frown. So I went in close to make sure I heard what he actually wanted to stay. And he assured me he did not want to leave.
You can see his best smile at the game as he sports his Harper jersey.
The game was a low scoring, close game. The Nationals went into the ninth inning, down a run. To our disappointment, the Nats were resting their best and our favorite player Bryce Harper for the game. But I told Josiah this would be a great place for the Nats to pinch-hit for Harper as the pitcher was due up to bat.
Sure enough, Manager Dusty Baker put Harper in the batter's box.
The crowd at Nationals Park rose to their feet. We felt the momentum of the game-changing. The Nats were still down, the score had not changed. But Harper was at bat and could tie the game with one swing.
The day got a little brighter. The sound of the crowd made us yell a little louder. The smell of hot roasted peanuts crept in to say, “This is what it’s all about.”
Bryce stood in the box strong and tall. He was not afraid to swing the bat but still had a great eye for the strike zone. The Twins’ closer knew what Bryce could accomplish in quick order so he was on his best behavior. Before we knew it, the count was full, three balls and two strikes. The pitcher did not want to put the winning run at the plate, so walking Harper was not being considered. Thus the game was on the line and everyone there could taste and feel it.
Oh, we felt it alright, when Bryce Harper planted the ball into the outfield stands to tie the game!
I do not know how you feel about sports. But let me explain to you what happened that day. The Nationals later won the game after sixteen innings. What did it matter for the Nationals to come back and win this one game out of 162 in April? Not much and yet a lot. What does it mean to me all these years later? Joy.
Read how the manager felt that day:
"‘How do I feel?’ Dusty Baker asked rhetorically when a reporter wondered how he came through the Washington Nationals' sixteen-inning marathon with the Minnesota Twins on Sunday afternoon.”
"I feel like I just came out of the Twilight Zone," Baker said.
"I love these guys, they don't give up. They seemed unfazed by it and act like they knew we were going to win and we did. That's the power of belief." -Dusty Baker on the Nationals' win over the Twins
"I mean, man, that was some game. That was a roller-coaster game of emotions. You're down to your last out, pitcher hitting, we left a ton of men out there on base, but these guys, I love these guys, they don't give up.
"They seemed unfazed by it and act like they knew we were going to win and we did. That's the power of belief."
Returning to the power of belief again later in his post-game interview, Baker talked about Bryce Harper's ninth-inning, game-tying home run that sent the game into extra innings.
Harper, Baker explained, went to the plate in the pinch-hit appearance thinking he could get it done and after working the count full against Twins' closer Kevin Jepsen, he got it done, hitting a solo blast to straight center field in Nationals Park.
"He believed that he was going to do it, that's what impressed me the most," Baker said.
"I mean, confidence is not his problem. You know what I mean? Everything he does, he doesn't seem surprised. and I'm not surprised, but I'm extremely happy, and I'm sure he is too."
Confidence was never an issue to Bryce Harper. He has made quite living for himself with his hair flips, hustle, and swagger. You might not appreciate him now, especially since he left the Nationals as a free agent, but I will ALWAYS “sport’s love” that man.
You may be asking about “sport’s love” or considering if there is an evil twin sister called “sports hate”. There sure is! Sports allow us fanatics to relax our emotions and suspend our realities. I so enjoy sports hating some of my best friend’s teams. We can get all over each other: teasing and provoking all sorts of emotions, the highs, and lows. It is a great release to get emotional over a brief moment in time.
When Harper entered the game, Josiah could not join in standing, clapping, hooping, or hollering. But Josiah’s heart was sure pumping. His face could not smile. But he was no doubt into the drama of the moment.
During the next five innings, we lost stamina. But he did not want to leave, there was a baseball game still to be determined. I negotiated an exit strategy for the fourteenth inning that we utilized. So we missed the home run that ended the game in sixteen innings but that does not and did not cloud my joy of that day. My boy who threw up in the third inning whose body was fighting a brain tumor outlasted all of us. He was living in the sports moment.
I would love to thank Harper personally. Thank him for stepping to the plate and doing his job. He was supposed to take the day off. He was supposed to rest. But when his name was called he answered the call and gave my family a memory we will never forget.
I have the jersey Josiah wore that day downstairs in the memory chest. It is one of my favorite treasures. When I see it I remember the joy that rushed through my body as I watched Harper hit a home run that leads me to remember the joy my son felt even in the midst of dying. What an amazing gift.
Until I can say it in person, thanks Bryce.
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