Making Memories
When you don’t have answers and solutions are not in your control, what do you do? Make memories. You cannot guarantee great memories are going to happen. But you know that the best memories are made outside your comfort zone. So when you’re out making memories, don’t be fooled to think they will all be good. “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!”
The following is a blog post recounting some of our time at the “Happiest place on earth”:
November 25, 2015
Orlando Memories
We are back! What a trip indeed. It was a special time. It was a week filled with some great memories. But not all sugar plums and fairies. The week was a mixed bag of fruit with some sour apples. I want to tell you about the whole bag because it is just a part of this journey.
The time was tough for Josiah because he always was the center of attention. It is not in his personality makeup to enjoy being the “star”. He often felt like people were “babying” him. Of course, the special treatment we received was wonderful and given with a tremendous heart. We got to get in the front of every line (rides and character pictures) and were always greeted with a big smile. But it sometimes was a bit much for him to absorb.
We also had some wonderful food and treats. But with Josiah off steroids (tremendous!), he had no appetite. Therefore, whenever we stopped to eat, it was just wasting time for him. (Easy to understand, right?) The worst was seeing us at the all you can eat ice cream shop and not wanting anything. But he tried hard and often succeeded in allowing us to enjoy this special part of the trip. So much so, when he was asked by a person at the Make A Wish property what he was most thankful for he said, “Free Ice Cream!”
We also had so many fun places to go (Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Universal, Sea World, Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom… yes, we did them all) and things to do, Josiah didn’t take an afternoon nap. So just use your Disney imagination to think how our early evenings went. Yet he pushed through his exhaustion to let us ride as many rides as we could before dinner. It was his Wish trip and wanted to do SO, SO much but physically could not.
Yet every morning, his face was bright and shining! He couldn’t wait to start each and every day. On our last night, we ended up taking a nap so we could stay up to watch the fireworks. But when he woke, he had his worst case of nausea. After he watched us have our special last dinner, he wasn’t able to join us for the night festivities and asked us to go along without him. He actually wouldn’t let us stay with him and insisted we go have fun.
We were concerned about how he would feel the next day (our travel day). But guess who woke up again with eyes beaming and a great attitude? So even through the worst, he would not let it keep him down.
His favorite part of the trip was the time in the pools. His favorite pool was Give Kids the World where it wasn’t crowded. (I had to explain to him that most people would rather go to the pool when it was hot, not raining, and during the day. But what do I know?) He and his siblings had a blast!
One night, they had a group event for their campers to be princesses and pirates. We were not a part of it but enjoyed looking on from afar. An adult princess approached us and warmly began a conversation. She told us that a mermaid would be joining the party. The princess told us of this very special mermaid. She had golden blond hair and a gold tail. Josiah graciously questioned our princess, “Excuse me. You said she had a golden tail?” The princess straightened her back and lifted her head, “Why yes. It is spectacular!” Josiah was disappointed, “She does not have a golden tail.” The princess retorted and proclaimed, “Why yes she does. I have seen it with my own eyes.” Then she said she must go and walked away. Josiah calmly turned to me and said, “If the mermaid’s tail was made of gold, it would be like a hundred pounds… too hard to swim with a tail that heavy.” #truth
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Hidden between the lines are many difficult emotions. In the evenings, my nine year old would truly loose his cool. His siblings would also feel the heat of his emptiness and exhaustion. He was a nine year old boy who did not have the strength to control his feelings. Children can tend to lose it in the best of times. Hard, loud words flowed most nights.
A lasting memory not mentioned is the nighttime Disney World light show and fireworks. It was the end of the week and he was DONE. We all were fine with staying in but he exploded on us for not going. So I packed up my five year old boy and twelve year old girl. We drove from the Pixar Cars hotel with his voice still ringing in our ears.
We parked the van. We marched across the parking lot into the shuttle. Then we found our place in front of Cinderella’s castle… without Josiah. The kids were tired and exhausted. They had helped their brother navigate the ups and downs. It was a time I needed to focus on them. I needed to help them enjoy this time to make a fun memory.
Disney did what Disney does. It was a brilliant display of sights and sounds. The two would occasionally look back to me to make sure I was seeing what they were seeing. I gave them reassuring smiles and hugs.
What they did not see in the night were the tears in my ears nor the crushing of my heart. Josiah should have seen the magic. He should have been there to enjoy the thrill. No. It was another thing the tumor had stolen from him. It was another gift I could not share. So I let the tears flow hidden in the nighttime darkness from my two. The one thing I knew was that I was not going to take the joy away from this moment with them.
I write this to emphasize the importance of being present with those you love. Josiah’s journey took a ton of my attention, as it should. But I tried to be mindful to spend time and love my two other gifts. They were struggling to grow up and love their sick brother. They needed the fun and celebration too. They did not need to carry my burdens as well.
So I end where I began, I thank God for my friends and family who supported me through it all. I thank God for teachers, Make a Wish volunteers, hospital workers, school administrators, and many who I have never met who prayed for us all. I am grateful.
Wish I could tell that princess thank you too.
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